2012!

Wow! I can't believe it's already 2012. The last half of 2011 went by really fast. Work and the holidays kept me really busy, which is good, I like to keep busy so I don't have to think about my anxiety. Here's a quick summary of pictures of the fall & winter of 2011. In October, my mom took Alissa, Noe, and I to Disneyland. I really wanted to see the Halloween decorations & I was not disappointed! Sadly I didn't get the chance to go later & see the Christmas decorations. In November, Noe & I went to the Natural History Museum in Los Angeles.

Alissa & I in our new hats!

Jacobs girls

The Bf & I <3

At the Natural History Museum in LA

Noe gets a polar bear & I get a tortoise.

December was fun too! I tried to get most of my Christmas shopping done early but of course on December 24th, I was out running errands with my dad. I got the Bf a Xbox & he got me a beautiful peal ring! And he hinted that next Christmas I'm getting an engagement ring! 

My ring.

On January 25th, it will be our 3rd anniversary of dating! Since it's a Wednesday we'll be celebrating on Saturday the 28th. We're going to dinner at the Orangehill Resturant in Orange. I hope it's good since it's pretty expensive. I have no idea what to wear either. Maybe time for a shopping trip!! I would say we've been together longer than that but that's when we made it official. He told me he loved me about 4 months before that so I wasn't too worried about us getting together. I just texted him and said, "you're gonna be my boyfriend now" and he replied "ok". I know, super romantic hahahaha. Although he will say the first few months of our relationship doesn't count since he was deployed for part of it. He just says that though cuz he knows it makes me mad hahaha

Work has been good. My class is now a mix of first and second graders. I liked it better when it was just first graders because these second graders don't know how to behave in a classroom. I have one boy who has ADD & won't sit still at all. I have another boy who cries over everything & tells me he hates me. Not gonna lie, I'm ready for a different job already.

At the beginning of January, I finally went to the doctor specifically for my anxiety. After talking about everything with the doctor, she said she thinks I have depression & an anxiety disorder (she also says I'm underweight and need to gain about 5 lbs). So she gave me meds, Celexa and Xanax. The Celexa I have to take everyday for depression. It makes me really nauseous though so I've been only taking about half a pill a day cuz otherwise I feel terrible & I wouldn't be able to go to work. The Xanax is for really bad days and I haven't taken it yet since I haven't had a bad day. I don't know how that's going to make me feel but I feel better just knowing I have it for an emergency. The doctor also suggested I contact the psychiatry department so I can talk to a therapist and see what's going on. I made an appointment & saw like a pre-therapist. She basically just met with me to see what my problems were and to place me with an actual therapist. She thinks it could all just be from the transition of graduating college and becoming an adult. She also said she thinks it's a chemical problem in my brain and that I'll be better with medication and probably 4-6 sessions with a therapist. So next month I have an appointment with the actual therapist.  Supposedly she is a good match for me and will really be able to help me figure out what's going on. I'm glad this is all finally getting figured out. I do not want a repeat of last year where I was anxious or depressed pretty much all the time. 2011 was a terrible year for me, emotionally. It's so weird because I knew/know that there's nothing for me to worry about and that it could be so much worse. Everything is good relationship-wise, money situation could be better but at least I have a job. Something in my brain just wants me to worry for no reason. Hopefully that will get fixed this year and everything can go back to normal. I'm just kind of mad that I wasn't able to fix this problem myself. I tried to keep busy, exercise, and do all these things that would've normally helped me out and got nothing this time.

I'm about to become super busy too. I'm taking a few online classes from Santa Ana College. Just a few classes so I can have some new skills to put on my resume. Work is also going to get more busy. My boss is giving us more responsibilities. I'm going to have to start writing some of  my own lesson plans which should be interesting.

Ok that's enough writing for one night! Have a happy weekend!