Picky Eater here!

So I am a very picky eater.

Like really.

I'm pretty sure it started in Kindergarten when we were in circle time and a boy in the circle threw up. That pretty much scarred me for life. I didn't eat for like a week after that happened. My mom had to take me to the doctor because she didn't know what was wrong with me. I didn't want to eat because I was afraid that I would throw up. That has followed me through my whole life. I don't like to eat many things because I'm paranoid that they will make me sick. I know, it's weird, but to me it's very serious. I read an article like 2 weeks ago on Hello Giggles about the fear of vomiting and basically everything in it described me (it's called emetophobia and I have it for sure). It pretty much is because of the fear of losing control of yourself. And I like to be in control. So my picky eating is based on my fear of vomiting is what I have deduced. I can't even be around people throwing up. It gives me anxiety and makes me feel sick. I don't think I will ever be able to get over this either. It's been bothering me for 22 years already. It's a deep psychological thing or something. I don't know. It's a thing for me and ya'll are just going to have to accept that I can't eat certain things for psychological reasons.

It also really scares me when I think about getting pregnant someday and having morning sickness. Like it makes me not want to ever get pregnant if it means I will be throwing up. My mom did not have any morning sickness with me or my sisters so hopefully that will be passed down to me.

I don't know why I'm going to be teacher when I have this vomit/food problem. Kids throw up all the time and have germs. Hopefully with time I can get over it. At least the part about being around people who throw up. The food thing will always bother me because I can control what I put in my body. I don't know but is that like an eating disorder?  I don't really think so though, I just think it's another kind of psychological thing. I don't really drink alcohol anymore either and it's because I don't want to lose control of myself. I don't want to be drunk and do things I wouldn't normally do.


Summary: I don't like losing control of myself. By being a picky eater, I control what I eat. And I have a fear of vomiting which would be the ultimate loss of control. 

Please tell me I'm not alone in this weirdness in my brain!